I knew her name, once

I knew her name, once

By PMcC

I still recognized her.

After three or four years in
A new city where dancing was
Second nature next to the record player
Revolving strains of Jeff Mangum.
A world drastically disparate from
What we knew.

Same cropped black hair a
Little longer than when you took
Scissors to it to eviscerate the
Smell of the Lucky Strikes we
smoked like manufacturing
Building up her proportions with a
Little pudge resting at the same ratios
I remembered our conversations about
New horizons and moving out of
Texas instead of lingering in cities
Defining history.

Hope betraying sensibilities
In bed drunk and asleep with my hand against
Your neck even after I’d moved on to
Other pastures.
A postscript of averted glances, an
Absence on a small college campus
Singing hymns of confessions from former
Friends rallying against the kind of person I am.

I still recognized her.

Out of context and conscious of what
I discarded the guilt remains in
Feints and immorality while my regrets
Make me a monster for no more reason than
I can’t remember your name.

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